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Every time you listen, God kills a kitten tbagwell@dc101.com
So it was someones bright idea to let me have a podcast. Below you'll find some slightly amusing calls to my show from people just like you (well maybe not like you). You can also click here to subscribe. The sensation in the crotch of DC! |
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 7-Midnight Monday through Friday*
Handful of Ass Every Night at 10 O'Clock Current Ass Dominator: Framing Hanley "Lollipop" |
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Waist: 31 Hips: 31?
Height: 5' 11"
Bust: ...a move? Weight: 160 lbs (I try to only eat foods that, at least indirectly, cause a living thing to die) Birthplace: Deliverance, VA Ambitions: I would like to somehow contribute to world peace in a way that benefits me personally. Guilty Pleasures: I like those movies in which Death is a choreographer and starts offing people that he forgot to kill on a rollercoaster or bus accident or something. It's like watching Dancing With the Stars only, instead of doing the Foxtrot with Derek Jeter, Jenni Garth gets decapitated by a phone cord after her Ipod gets wet, causing a spark that lands in the grease that spilled on the floor when she was cooking turkey bacon, catching the kitchen on fire and melting the plastic on the outside of the phone cord while causing a backdraft that lassos the cord around her neck, then sucks it back into the kitchen along with her head. Turn-Ons: Folding laundry in my underwear with a sheepish grin, gratuitous nudity, women with low self-esteem Turnoffs: Women with designer breed dogs. They never accept you for who you are. So, unless you want to end up her designer breed boyfriend - a guy who has been neutered and manipulated into the perfect combination of everything that she wants - never date a woman who owns a Shitz-a-doodle or a Cock-a-poo or a Labra-cat. Date a woman who owns a mutt that she saved from the animal shelter.
Vices: Sex, drugs and Pringles
If I Had More Time I Would: …sit at home drinking Yoo-Hoo and thinking about how I really should put on pants at some point.
Next Risk I Want To Take: I'd like to go to a movie that I haven't read a review about yet.
TV: I'm a fan of The Office; I try not to miss The Daily Show; Entourage is enjoyable; Curb Your Enthusiasm has its moments; Flight of the Conchords grew on me like an STD. When I have a girlfriend, I enjoy pretending to like Grey's Anatomy, then at some point beginning to like it for real, only to be disgusted with myself after we break up and, out of bitterness and loneliness, choose to boycott it. Movies: Well, I'm a dude so I like Wedding Crashers, 40 Year Old Virgin, Fight Club, Almost Famous, Shaun of the Dead, Walk the Line, Dodgeball, Blood Diamond, Tremors, Slither, Training Day, Old School, American Werewolf in London, From Dusk 'Til Dawn, Tombstone ...Oh, and if you haven't seen this movie, see it: True Romance. DO NOT judge it by it's title...it's anything but a chick flick. It's a little Tarantino-scripted gem that few have seen and it's BAD ASS. I wouldn't lie to you. The Christopher Walken/Dennis Hopper scene alone is worth buying the DVD. Plus, Gary Oldman plays a pimp, Val Kilmer plays an imaginary Elvis, Brad Pitt plays a stoner who stays baked the entire movie, Tony Soprano's head is set on fire and more people get shot than at the Source Awards. Oh and 2 words: Christian Slater...whatever happened to that guy?
Music: These artists reflect my varying moods and multiple personalities... Sometimes I'm a wimpy Emosexual who just wants to chill with my mocha frapp amongst the faint, hypnotic linger of Ryan Adams, Damien Rice, Jack Johnson, Cary Brothers, Joshua Radin, The Fray or Aqualung. At other times, I'm an angry, hyperactive beast who would like to avoid committing criminal acts by cranking some Say Anything, Against Me, Nine Inch Nails, System of a Down, Deftones, GNR, STP, 3DG, Audioslave, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters, Puddle of Mudd or Seether (that's usually when I'm in a relationship). Then, there are the times when I'm a hybrid...a caged anemol (note the spelling with "emo" in the middle), which means I'm probably thinking about that one girl who teased me relentlessly but never let me worship inside the temple of her True Religions. Therefore, there is anger...but it is laced with sad wussiness. That's when I like to treat my ears to some Incubus, Our Lady Peace, Brand New, U2, White Stripes, Dashboard Confessional, Alkaline Trio, Silversun Pickups, The Spill Canvas, Deathcab For Cutie, The Used, 311, Muse, Beck, Blue October, Linkin Park or The Killers.
Pet Peeves: DC traffic; people that stand right beside you when there are 6 other urinals they could use; when you're looking at sexy pictures on the internet and your laptop keeps falling off (you might have to think about that one for a second)


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You gotta fight....
 for your right...  to...

 DUGGA DUGGA
 *Best if listened to while intoxicated
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How to play Troublemaker
Friday 10-10-2008 6:49pm ET
My Hero or The Pretender?
Thursday 10-09-2008 12:35am ET
 
NEW YORK (Billboard) - The Foo Fighters have blasted the campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain for using the band's song "My Hero" at rallies without its permission.
Previously, Jackson Browne filed suit against the McCain campaign for using his song "Running on Empty" without consent.
"It's frustrating and infuriating that someone who claims to speak for the American people would repeatedly show such little respect for creativity and intellectual property," the band said in a statement. "The saddest thing about this is that 'My Hero' was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential. To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song."
The rock group Heart was also dismayed at the use of its song "Barracuda" for events featuring McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, and co-writer Roger Fisher has said he will give a portion of his royalty income to the Democrats.
Reuters/Billboard
Merry F-in Christmas - FINALLY - GNR fans (I still don't believe it)
Thursday 10-09-2008 4:05pm ET
Perhaps the FBI is standing guard. Word, according to Billboard, is that Guns N' Roses' "Chinese Democracy" will finally see the fluorescent lights of retail outlets on Nov. 23, the Sunday before the big Thanksgiving holiday shopping weekend. Additionally, the album will be a retail exclusive to big box outlet Best Buy.
But those who want to avoid hordes of shoppers clamoring for a Wii Fit need not fear. Certainly the first-week Best Buy price will be cheaper than the major label wholesale cost. The end result, as when the Eagles partnered with a mass merchant, is that other retailers will likely just buy the album from Best Buy and stock it themselves, unless federal agents will be retained to enforce the maximum purchase limit.
The strategically-timed release will undoubtedly pump up first-week sales for the much-ballyhooed record, one that has been so overly hyped and ridiculously guarded that a blogger was actually charged with a felony for leaking many of the songs. It will be interesting to see how fans respond after the initial week of curiosity has passed, and if the story of the album will prove to be more interesting than the actual album, especially after years of on-and-off tours and promises that the record would be coming soon, really! A recent conversation with a music industry manager had this usually insightful fellow proclaiming that "Chinese Democracy" would sell more than 1 million copies in its first week, but I can't see that happening. Guns N' Roses has hype but hasn't been consistently feeding its fanbase, a la Lil Wanye, and the band did little to show that it didn't have an antagonistic relationship with its fans after "Chinese Democracy" hit the Web this summer.
And that doesn't take into account that Guns N' Roses is essentially a classic rock band these days. Boo and hiss all you want, but the band, after all, is taking a page from Don Henley and Co. to release the album. What's next? A song exclusive "Guitar Hero" or "Rock Band"? Actually, yes, as the album's "Shackler's Revenge" will debut in "Rock Band 2."
*****
Monday 10-13-2008 5:21pm ET
Despite the fact that it looks like "Chinese Democracy" might actually be released soon, I'm going to remain skeptical and stick to the theory I've had for some time. You may have heard me talk about this on DC101 from time to time. I believe Axl Rose has actually been dead for about 12 years.
I know what you're thinking...
He's been seen in public; there are pictures on the internet; he has even performed in concert since then!
At least that's what you thought you saw.
I believe that whenever you think you are seeing Axl, he is actually being played by actor Eric Stoltz.
     What about the singing, you ask? Well, whenever people believe they are hearing Axl sing in concert, I believe it is actually Eric Stoltz lip-synching to voice tracks laid down by Sebastian Bach, former lead singer of the band Skid Row. I also, therefore, believe that all the lead vocals on "Chinese Democracy" - if it ever actually comes out - will be performed by Bach.I rest my CD case, bitch.
Rachael Ray is a bad, bad girl
Tuesday 10-07-2008 7:18pm ET
Metallica comes up short
Monday 10-06-2008 7:53pm ET
T.I. is poised to knock Metallica off of the number 1 spot on the Billboard chart. T.I. stands for "Ten Inch."
Remember my weekend motto...
Friday 10-03-2008 9:00pm ET
DRILL, BABY, DRILL!!!
i'm so mature.
Rockers Offer Up Signed Goods to Aid Lit Rocker's Brain Tumor Battle
Friday 10-03-2008 6:47pm ET
Lit star Shellenberger was diagnosed with a grade four malignant brain tumor at the beginning of the summer
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 Daily Rock Photos - "Get the latest rock news!"
The Red Hot Chili Peppers, No Doubt and The Offspring are collecting merchandise and memorabilia to auction off to help fund fellow California rocker Allen Shellenberger's brain tumor battle. Lit star Shellenberger, 39, was diagnosed with a grade four malignant brain tumor at the beginning of the summer and is currently undergoing radiation and chemotherapy treatments at the Cedars-Sinai Maxine Dunitz Neurosurgical Institute in Los Angeles. And the stars are lining up to offer signed clothing, equipment and memorabilia for an upcoming auction, which will help fund Shellenberger's medical costs. The Make A Noise Foundation is sponsoring an auction through Ebay's Giving Works Program to help offset Allen's medical costs. All proceeds will benefit Allen Shellenberger and Cedars-Sinai's Maxine Dunitz Neurosurgical Institute in Los Angeles. The four members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers have signed a copy of their Stadium Arcadium album for the auction, while No Doubt are selling off an autographed amplifier. Shellenberger's bandmates have offered to auction off dinner with a fan, and former James Bond Pierce Brosnan has handed over one of his paintings for the online sale, in addition to merchandise donated and/or signed by Donna Summer, the Offspring, Judd Apatow, James Taylor, Nickelback, Maroon 5, and more. The auction is currently underway on eBay.com. If, in this crashing economy, you have the spare change to help out a rocker in need, please donate. He is not a rich man. Lit had two hits: My Own Worst Enemy and Miserable, which are both oddly ironic right now.
Click Here to Participate!
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